My son

My son had football practice last night. He took a real beating! But it wasn't a physical beating...it was emotional and mental. No, he got hit and hit back all in the name of tackling and blocking, and tried to do his job. He was unfortunately blowing the snap, from the Center position. I know why...he's raising up too quickly, before getting the ball back to th QB. Why? Despite being told? He's bracing for the impact of the defense, because he still a little afraid of getting hurt, even though he's a big kid, probably the biggest on the team. So, where did the beating come in? On the last blown snap that he made, he got yelled at for an extended period of time by one coach, and when he finished my son got to run a lap. This all started at about a half hour into a two hour practice. So they moved him off of center, and just back to the offensive line, still panting from the lap and dejected by the scolding. Now he lines up for maybe a total of 3 plays in this position, where he isn't lining up well (too far forward) since all this time he's been accustomed to being out in front as he prepares to snap the ball. He gets yelled at again, and then again by more than one coach at the same time, and sent off for another lap. Back on the line, again, visibly upset, blows the assignment, doesn't pick up the guy he's supposed to block, and time for another yelling session. I don't remember if there was another lap here or not. On the evening though, he put in either 5 or 6 laps though. Mind you a couple other players did punishment laps but none more than one. On this final return, he is kicked off the offensive line, and put on defense, and they pull someone from that side over. Not only is he tired, he's now hanging his head, his expression is both vacant and beaten at the same time. He is just there...wondering how much longer this is going to last, trying not to cry. They've won...the coaches are bigger and badder than he is. They're great and he sucks, and he knows it because they've told him so. A total of 4 of the coaches jumped him last night, at varying times and degrees. In the end he couldn't do anything right. Practice continued, and thankfully for the last maybe 15 minutes he didn't get singled out for any coaches' venom. He walked over to me, on the sideline, and just looked at me. I really couldn't look him in the eye. At first when initially he was messing up, I was a little irritated with him myself. Why's he screwin' that up tonight, he knows better? But as the verbal abuse continued, I started getting upset. Now facing him, and having done nothing, I'm a little embarassed myself. I simply say, let's go to the truck. I start driving home, silent. He's looking at me, I can feel it, and finally he says, "Aren't you gonna yell at me? Aren't you gonna tell me you're mad?" All I can say is, "I think you've had enough yelling for one day..." I later continued and asked why he continued to mess up, which is when he told me about being afraid of the coming hit from the defense. I started explaining the "how to," and he cut me off and said, "dad, I really tried my best." I didn't have the heart to say much more, after that. Now, I don't believe it was really his best. I've seen him do better. But for that moment in time, last night, it was the best that he believed he could do...and he was coming up short. He knew it, before the tongue-lashing and the laps. He didn't get help, or correction, just abused. And I didn't really know what to do, or how to help. Worst of all, I let it happen. I'm slow to complain to the coaches, since football is new to me. I didn't play as a child. I wasn't athletic...at all! My hope has been for my son that he will learn positive aggression and grow confident and unafraid. All of my hopes for my son last night we're destroyed. I talked to him later when I was tucking him in...and said I know it was bad...are you okay? He answered, "...yeah, I'll just have to try harder, and fight my way back into my position, 'cause I got fired from both of them tonight." FIRED...that's an interesting concept. He surprised me by the fact that he didn't say anything about quitting. He surprised me that he didn't cry, or whine about it. He took every bit of what they dished out, and there he sat in his bed telling me, that he was going back and was going to try to do better. I decided then...and throughout the night (because of a guilty feeling plagueing my sleep.) Saturday will be different. We will show up at 9:00am for practice. I'm going to do what I should have done last night, and tell the coaches that there will be no further beat downs like that. Yes, they must be firm, yes he must respect, yes he has a job...but he's 8-yrs-old, playing football for the very first time. He's a little boy, and they're supposed to be building character in addition to teaching football. I didn't see anything built last night, except for what Cole did on his own. He was strong beyond his (few) years. I do not expect him to return to center. I think it was a mistake for them to put him there in the first place, since he is very inexperienced. BUT, he is big...and useful on the offensive line. Aside from the fact that no one else has ever been "fired" from 2 positions in one night. I think if they do no plan to put him back on the line...I may pull him from the team myself. No one, especially a little boy, deserves what he took last night. I want him to do well, but this is supposed to be an enjoyable/fun thing to do. He puts in a lot of time and effort into this. If it's all for pain and misery, then what's the point. I'll leave the decisions on this until Saturday, and the final one will be up to Cole. He's earned that right. Either way he's still my son, and I'm very proud of him. No one likes a bully, and last night he withstood 4 of them. The next encounter will be different. Whichever decision he makes...he will have beaten them all, whether they realize it, or not. I admire you son.

Regards,

cheer_dad