Blog Wisdom

I found the following blog today:

http://www.myluckyskills.com/

...and I don't know this guy from Adam, and he doesn't know me either. But in my process this morning of looking for some inspiration to get through this "variance" that I'm in the middle/beginning of, I stumbled across a graph that led me to this site. I read through his latest blog post...and whether he intended it as inspirational or not, it really helped me. REALLY! There wasn't anything incredibly new in it, but delivery is everything sometimes. So I actually commented on his blog. It was the first time I'd ever commented to someone's blog before. I just wanted to thank him. Now, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop losing, and get back to my winning ways. That's the thing...I could do everything right and still lose, which is what I've been asserting all along. But I'm better with the fact of variance...or at least the concept of it. It exists, it's there, and knowing that is a big part of the battle. Accept it for what it is, accept that I'm in it for as long as it chooses to hold me in its clutches. There is nothing I can do about it except to hunker down, shield myself, and hope for daylight! By shield myself, I guess it means to take even fewer chances than I do now...and for any of you that know me, that's saying something! Isn't it! I'm just going to have to wait it out. And yes there will continue to be losses, and there been a few hundred of those since this started over the weekend. So, til the weekend or maybe even beyond, I'm going to take a break from the online poker world, and focus on something else.

I'll try to catch up on my reading, running, maybe just my family in general, and give them the attention that they deserve. You know, not just be there, but REALLY be there! I'm not going to stop playing poker for good by any means. Unlike an approach that another of my blogger contemporaries chose, the reason that he chose that course is outlined and defined by this:

I've got a theory on life where you can only fully concentrate on 2.5 things at a time in life. family/partner normally takes up one slot. work generally takes up another, the other 0.5 will tend to rotate between other hobbies or activities. sport, working out or drinking with mates.My point is, we aren't machines, can't do everything at once, there has to be a sacrifice somewhere. you could quit your job and put poker into that slot. you could cut out/cut back on your other hobbies such that poker can dominate the 0.5 section. or you could do a half-ass job at work to give you more time to think poker. you have to prioritise your 2.5 slots. this has been a useless post from me. --00Snitch

He was quoting someone else...from the forums, and feel free to read his take on what all that means here: http://www.holdemblogger.com/

He opted out of Poker completely, at least for the extended future. He didn't take a dive. He made a choice. I'm going to make a choice to go back to playing for fun, the way it used to be, BUT continue to play well, preparing for some future/alternate reality, where I could ramp up my play. No, it'll probably never happen, and I'm okay with that. The detail and the effort is the thing. Not necessarily the outcome.

Whether you like what I've written here, don't ignore the sentiment, because of how I've failed miserably writing it all down. Read their blogs for better depth. Thanks for hearing me out, or rather reading me out. The writing was refreshing.

Regards,

cheer_dad

Lost Weekend

Lost weekends usually imply a good thing. A getaway, a departure from the norm, or a step outside reality. But that's not the case here. Maybe the title should be "Wasted Weekend." Maybe Donation Time. I can't call it a Bad Beat-a-thon, since there were no true bad beats. There was just nothing good about it. Lotsa bad cards...and when good cards came, they didn't connect with the board in any way. The first chapter in this Lost Weekend was Saturday night...so I guess I got a reprieve. I was able to cut my losses in the evening's cash game, only losing a total of $21, counting the $1 round of ghetto hold 'em. I bought in twice for $10, and just kept donating. I could feel myself leaning toward Tilt, so I opted to pass on a third rebuy, despite the fact that Big Red tried to get me to come back into the game. It just wasn't in my best interest. I hope that folks didn't think I was just being anti-social, there really were other forces at work, and trust me you didn't really want me back in the game. Well, maybe as a means of profit you did. :) But at any rate, I had the good sense to get out.



Next day...there was free time to be had! What better way to spend a day than playing some online poker. That was a thought I should have re-thought. It began with Full Tilt Poker. I had $101.xx when I started. I had $1.xx when the dust settled. I watched as pocket Queens, betrayed me on the final hand, and the last of the money I had at the table go away. I remember looking at my stats at the 159 hand point, and finding that I'd only won 8 hands total, on the two tables I was playing. AND of those wins I recalled that 2 of them I was the big blind and everyone at the table folded to me, and a couple of others I raised preflop with a pocket pair and everyone folded to me. That is a recipe for loss at the tables. I cooked, and stewed in my own juices. So, I quit. For a few hours anyway. Luck had to change didn't it? Actually Lady Luck just didn't see it that way. She's fickle. And she proved to me that William H. Macy didn't have nothing on me. So, I head over to UB for a change of pace, and since all my money is gone on FTP. (grrrr) Horrible, horrible cards again...and I resist playing them, I admit that I let a few connectors enter the list of playable hands, but not very often did I even see them! When I finally had the good sense to leave the table I was down another $70+. This was not a day to remember. So the total loss was in the neighbor hood of $170-$180-ish. The only cardinal rule that I know that I broke, which caused me to go broke, was playing for the bonus on Full Tilt, instead of just playing the game and letting the bonus take care of itself. It has bitten me before. Playing for a $20 chunk of the bonus, and losing $100 just dosen't add up. In the end I didn't even get the bonus..and now I never will. But UB hasn't treated me this poorly in a very long time. The worst of it...and most depressing of all is that fact that I plummeted below the $800 mark on the site. That was very demoralizing. And there was nothing I could do about it, except opt not to play. But how can you always stay away. There's no way to know what will be a winning or a losing session. That is the nature of the poker beast. So, I guess I start rebuilding again, now... There's always hope, but to make sure that the losing streak has run its course, I think I'll take a few days off. Any wound needs at least that much time to heal. So I'll give it a rest. Really, I will...I don't wanna feel like this a night long again. I didn't sleep well, and I know the whole thing made me grumpy. Sorry Big Red, for putting up with my stupidity. It just stinks when you set aside time...when you can actually play, and then the world conspires against you. But, I'm not done yet...there's still cards and cash. I'll be back. You have been warned.


Regards,


cheer_dad

Well that didn't work

Since Neteller pulled the plug and some of the other ewallet solutions are beginning to roll UP the red carpet to the U.S. my mind has begun to wander toward the end of the spectrum that takes all my poker money (the whole bankroll) offline. Say it ain't so. But as more and more avenues continue to close for me to withdraw and deposit money, it becomes more worrisome. Will I hit a winning streak, and then lose not through bad play, but because I have had money stranded from me. Currently the only option at my disposal to take almost all of my money offline is for me to request a check from each of the poker rooms to which I belong. Each has afforded themselves in the neighborhood of 21 days to issue that check to me. The money is no longer liquid...well it's a least a little coagulated. I kept hoping this would start to pan out, but with each day, seems to come more bad news on the online gaming stage. So, I've been reviewing my options. I still feel reasonably safe on UltimateBet...maybe not $840 safe...but I'm going to ride this one out for a time, since the option to have them cut a check to me is still available. I've requested cashout from GamingClub...and that will take a few weeks, since it is in check form. Poker.com I have a small amount still there, but thus far they offer only a check service but charge like 20-30 bucks for a cashout, and in the fine print state that a free option should be coming soon. So, I'll wait for a while on that one. But, I'm not happy with how I was treated by customer service on this. Their email responses spoke down to me. So, sorry Poker.com, if ever poker returns to the former glory days, I don't think I'll be rejoining you. There were other more compassionate, and heartfelt responses from a lot of other rooms. I was really happy with FullTiltPoker either. I only had $100 there, but they only allow checks for those with greater than $300. No other option is currently available to me. So I thought I'd play for a while last night. Well now I have less to lose by continuing to play! Sheesh, what a dismal session at 2 tables of $1/$2 Limit. I was getting creamed with Sets, Flushes and Boats. I was brutal on the ego, and disastrous to the chipstack. Barely got out alive with just over $56. But, there's always the next time, right...and I can't win 'em all. I think I will probably lose a nominal sum in all, amongst all of the poker rooms to which I belong. It got to me a little bit last night, and yes TILT was on its way in, when I pried myself away from the keyboard. I keep wondering what's going to happen when the curtain finally falls on online poker. It has become a big part of my life, BUT by the same token I play a LOT more live games anymore, too. My big tourney is once a month, but there's usually a game there at least every other week. Add to that the fact that Eric holds his cash games and tourneys in the warmer months. Then the Yanok's games...top it off with a seemingly never ending string of other/higher stakes games, that I could take the plunge and join into. I used to prefer the convenience of online poker, but anymore, I can find a game nearly any day of the week. And at the drop of a hat I can generally put together a game at my own house, and have a least 2 tables running. So although one door closes...another seems to be opening up. Still sad to let it slip away.

Work still continues to exhaust. It's taking a toll on us all. I hope it slows down soon. This pace is not sustainable. It cannot continue...but...it must. The battle cry of configuration management may very well be the death of us all. It sucks to lose...it sucks even worse to lose to a chump. CM rises to the level of chump.

So ends another rant...another depressive outpouring.

Regards,

cheer_dad

Yes, it's been a while

The best laid plans of mice and men... While a good work of literature, is not a theme that I should be aspiring too when it comes to my blog. I should have better follow through. I should stick to my promises of continued posting goodness. I should have good plans, good intentions, and better conviction. What I'm saying is, I said I was going to post regularly...and I dropped the ball gang, again. I'm sorry, I'll try better, harder, etc...and so on. Work has just been a real bloodbath lately. I get home and I'm shot. And forget about being able to get a post in edgewise while I'm at work. I have attended so many meetings this week, so much paperwork, planning, costing, contracts, personnel matters. Heck, I even had to do real administrator work too! Whodathunkit?!? The DEBT got their money's worth outa me this past week. Rest assured American Public, your boy cheer_dad was givin' it his all this week. Tom Brokaw does not need to resurrect "The Fleecing of America." So that's my excuse for a lack of post-age. Let's try again. Okay, enough of my WahWahWahhhhh-ing on with the postin' folks.

Because work was such a bitch this week, Big Red and I treated ourselves to some well deserved poker goodness. We played Friday night at the Yanok's, for Game One anyway. I finished in 3rd place, and made my money back and Big Red's plus 10 bucks to boot. Which we re-invested for night number two, for the first tournament of 2007 for the NDPT crew! Get this...Big Red finishes in 3rd Place, and I finish in 2nd!!! How great is that. 1st and 2nd would have been better, but hey we happily conceded to J.R. It was a good night All Around. We pocketed nearly $250 for the night. Not bad for a weekend of poker goodness. And tack on to that the fact that I've gone above $840 on UB. I'm flying high here folks, I should put the landing gear down shouldn't I cause this plane's gotta come down soon doesn't it. I'm just continuing to play good/smart/tight poker. Some might argue all that crap, but I keep trying to make believe. I have to keep up that positive thinking. I'm convinced that a winning attitude and a controlled degree of arrogance can be a healthy and winning poker combination. I'll let you know when the theory gets blown outa the water though.

In other unfortunate news...Neteller has ceased all transfers for U.S. players to poker rooms of the world. NOOOOOOOOOOO, this truly sucks. Now, how am I supposed to get my money out of cyberspace. Well every Poker Room I belong to, has quickly emailed me with other viable options to fund my account. The crazy part is...I don't need to fund it anymore...it is self sufficient. I just need to keep a method to get it "offline" when the need arises. Well from time to time it's nice to deposit to take advantage of bonus dollar goodness. :)

Well I've rambled long here folks. Tried to make it up to you, if anyone is truly reading this at all. But regardless, it's good for me.

Have a good night.

Regards,

cheer_dad

What, am I riding the Beast here or what?

Online poker has been a roller-coaster ride for the past few days. I reread my last post from the 10th, and I was remarking then about how, good hands were meeting bad flop-turn-river, and I was feeling the pressure of the suckouts, but still keeping my head above water. Then I went on a major losing streak. Aces getting cracked, good pairs, Ace-high flush, being greeted by a friggin' straight flush. It was really taking a toll on my bankroll. I think I even dipped below my initial investment on UB of $650, at one point, which was bad...VERY BAD! But finished above that, for the night, and counted myself lucky. Whew!!! Somehow, I've now climbed back out of the mire, though...and went on a roll on one table to offset the dismal cards on the other table. The bad table, I looked at my stats at the 50 hand mark, and most notably I had won only ONE HAND!!! I scrolled back through the hand history, and found that on the one had that I took the pot, I was the BIG BLIND and EVERYONE had folded to me!!! You cannot survive at poker that way. No way...no how. Was I being too tight, too loose, wtf!!! But the other table I went on a roll of pocket pairs. I hit pocket Aces I don't even remember how many times, and I swear one streak included pocket aces, followed by pocket ladies, and then pocket ladies AGAIN! And I won every single one of them. My low pocket pairs were making sets. Especially a pair of 5's and a pair of 2's were REALLY sweet pots. So, I'm on a roll there, and livin' good, but just barely to the positive side, due to the other lousy table. Then I finally start getting some pocket pairs. Win a few, lose a few, still just treading water. Then I finally hit a monster hand, pocket Aces at the table. I am raised preflop, I reraise, and we cap it. This is going very well. Long story short, we end up with about a $30 pot in $1/$2 limit heads up, and my Aces hold fast. The other guy on shows his pocket Kings. He too was having a rough time at the table, and saw the Kings as being the best hand of the night. Tough luck, and feel his pain, but better him than me! So that pulls that table out of the cellar. (Big Sigh) I cash out for the night, back on track for now. I'm just under $800 again. BUT, looking back at it this is just BREAK EVEN POKER! That's frustrating. I mean I'm up, but I'm not capitalizing on the bonus $'s. All I'm really doing is collecting them 1 to 1. I would like to be collecting them straight up, and have winnings as gravy, or even the other way around. Sometimes it feels like cheating at poker, when you think in terms of keeping score with money. I'm up by nearly $150 but only by virtue of the fact that I'm collecting bonus dollars. That's not winning, that's break even, that's barely survival. Maybe though I've been at the tail end of an elongated run of bad cards, and I'm now ready to break on through to the other side! (power of positive thinking.) Maybe I'll get to see that in action tonight at Shuman's cash game. I've had a run a bad luck over there, being brutalized by a lot of suckouts. I know this is an incredibly loose game, so I'm playing it ultra tight, and just getting river hammered a lot. Maybe tonight is my night. WHOOOOYAAAA!

I just called the Riordan's so we should be seeing them tonight as well. Should be a good game, and a good time. I'll post how it all turns out.

And for those of you who know...don't forget the other LARGE non-NDPT tournament coming up soon, that I'm not allowed to talk about, being held at an undisclosed location, and being organized by someone I cannot identify. Was that vague enough for you, dear!!! :) If anyone is confused by that, then you probably weren't invited, but might be welcome, so email or call me, and I can clue you in! It's all about the plausible deniability!

See you all real soon.

Regards,

cheer_dad

Is there a kick me sign on my back?

Tonight I'm getting pushed around at $1/$2 limit table Vista, playing on UB. I haven't been able to make pocket 8's or pocket J's pay tonight. Against the 8's, when 3 sixes flop, I run into the guy holding pocket K's. My pocket J's get called down by a Q-7 and you guess it, he hits his Queen, and is impressed with his play. I just got pocket J's again, and actually made 'em pay that time. Then a few short hands later I see my rockets, and get raised preflop...I reraise and get two callers. The turn gives me a set, but there's a straight and a flush draw out there. The third caller stays with me til the end and shows his pocket 10's which have conveniently filled in the straight to the ACE!!! Arghhhh. Also, every time I've had the pocket pair, there's a better pocket pair or my Aces get busted. Go figure. What's that statistic something like 40% that if you have a pocket pair, someone else at the table will have one at that moment as well. I think it ought to be much higher than that, in line with my own experiences. When I have the pair...they will have a bigger pair, or receive phenomenal help on the flop. But that's why we LOVE the game! But it could be WORSE. I mean I'm only stuck at these two tables combined for $13 so far.

The other table was paying me good for a while...but we'll just have to see how it all pans out. I'm watching a lot of guys getting to drive the action tonight...and it ain't me either. Some other night maybe. But hey...what else would I be doing right. I'm just not gonna let it bug me. Well until just now when my Big Slick gets clobbered by Big Chick. By the River I have the King high flush...and get greeted by the Ace High flush.

I've been getting plowed over by monster ugly beats all night, BUT I somehow turned it around and finished up by $17 for the night, including some converted Pending Bonus $$$'s! The Vista table (the one I was whining about earlier, ended up being the one that carried the night for me. I cashed out on it up $33, the other table drained that amount by a bit. Earlier I was doing great on that one. Go figure. Considering though that I'd been down by over $50 at one point tonight though, I'll take it! Especially when for the most part I was playing good poker just getting drawn out on. The guy with the 8-3os against my pair of 10's w/Ace kicker frosted my ass for a bit, but now I feel better! :)

Anyway, I survived to play another day, and isn't that really what it's all about at least for now? Not til after I retire...can I focus on a poker career! Big Red says so!!! :)

All for now.

Regards,
cheer_dad

What am I doing here?

I've been reading a lot of other Blogs lately. Some poker related but by-and-large they are not. One that I wandered across though really started me thinking. What am I really trying to do with this blog anyway? Sure I'm chronicling the activities and misadventures of the N Debt Poker Tour crew, but those "official" games only occur once per month. (Well lately there have been a lot more frequent games here in the ole Murray basement.) But still that's not enough to really fill up a blog. It's not always going to spark a lot of interest to anyone but me in the first place. So, again what am I doing here? Well this blog is a small window into my life, and the things that make me tick, the things that I think about, what makes me happy, and what troubles me in general. Likes, dislikes, you name it I'll try to include it. But I need to do a better job of making it entertaining, and useful to others around me. I'll strive to make things interesting, and hopefully thought provoking to each and every one of you. Okay, okay, I know I'll never be able to get to each and every one of you, but I'll put forth the effort anyway! For that matter I don't even know if anyone even reads this blog. But if there's an audience waiting for a blogger and they browse through this one...I'd like them to hang around for awhile, and get to know me. Hopefully you (the reader) are one of those who will stick around!

I guess to sum this up...I want to do a better job with my blog for all of you...and specifically for me. For some crazy reason, this blog is important to me. I'd like over time for it to become important to some of you as well.

I resisted playing online poker today, on my day off from work. Alarming isn't it! The numbers of available tables were way down. I watched a few tables for a few rounds each, but was watching 4-5 people seeing the RIVER, and capping the raises in nearly every betting round. Then, of course watching some idiot with a 7-2os walking away with it. Now how's that improving their game? How's it going to improve mine? If I just wanna play to play, I can play for free at the play tables. But I'm not involved in this game of poker just for fun anymore. Now, I'm not largely profitable. But I have started "keeping score" by the money in my bankroll, instead of some of the other dimwitted ways I've seen others using to determine whether they are any "good" or not. I also don't blow the bankroll. And only tap into it, in small chunks, if at all. I do my best to nurture the little beast. My hope is, if I'm good to it...it'll be good to me.

I've been working on moving the NDPT website to my new Suddenlink location. All the while trying to incorporate some changes and improvements. If any of you have ANY ideas about what you'd like to see on the website or in this blog for that matter let me know, and I'll do my best to oblige you.

Anyway, thanks for reading and sticking with me.

Don't forget it's a new NDPT year...so the points battle starts ALL OVER AGAIN. Tournament #1 of 2007 is already scheduled for January 20th at 6:00pm. See you all there. Bring your A-Game!

Regards,

cheer_dad

Clawed my way back...

Somehow with a combination of $1/$2 Limit and some extended sessions of BlackJack, I clawed my way back out of the abyss. I'm within a few dollars of where I started off a couple days ago. If nothing else it was an ego victory. And a much needed one at that. I climbed back over that $750 mark, and trust me I breathed a BIG sigh of relief. Tonight the cards went my way on the poker table, and I had the GOOD SENSE to get out when they were beginning to turn sour, and some of the fish had swam away! Blackjack was a bit more grueling. I was buying in for 10 and then turning around with 10 more to get it back...and somehow given time, I would battle back and get back what I'd lost, plus a couple more. In fact it was blackjack that put me back over the 750 mark! It is still an EVIL GAME!

But that's enough for tonight! For once I quit when I'm ahead. :)

Regards,

cheer_dad

Off to a great start... oy!!!

It's Thursday... a few days since my last post. Let's catch up whad'ya say?! My truck... lookED a little like the one pictured here... but black. Unfortunately, it doesn't anymore. :(

Big Red and her mother left on Tuesday, bound for the Amish Country, to pick up furniture for the house. They didn't make it far. Turning into the local Certified Gas Station, they were plowed into by another truck, with a bonus feature on the front of it...a BIG METAL BUMPER. Hit rammed into the Rear Passenger Side wheel and bed. It was towed from the site of the accident. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt. Big Red is a little sore, but nothing time and a few more visits to the chiropractor won't fix. She will surely survive. Of this I am very grateful. In fact, she was more upset over the whole ordeal than I was. After all it is just a truck...no body was seriously injured. Any wreck you walk away from is a good one, in my book. Now we just have to see what the damage to the truck really is. At best...it is just cosmetic damage to the rear fender, wheel well, tire, and maybe the bed. At worst, add to the list above, a bent frame, axle, shocks, etc... The list could be extensive, but we'll just have to wait and see. I'm remaining optimistic at this phase. Maybe this is the denial phase of the accident :0) I'm sure I'll post more about this event right here in the blog, so stay tuned.

That same day, the funeral service for former President Gerald Ford was held. His legacy is being treated well by the press, despite that his presidency at the time was overshadowed by the disgraced Richard Nixon and the Watergate scandal. But many kind words were spoken of President Ford. Respect for the Office...Respect for the Man!

I returned to work...briefly on Wednesday, up until the point that I was called by my wife, to take my son to the doctor. His eye had swollen up mysteriously the night before...and it hadn't gotten any better. So I left to take him. Dr. Patel, believed it to either be a bug bite, or possibly that something had gotten in his eye to cause an odd irritation. His eye itched badly, and was swollen a bit like a Prize-Fighter's would be without the bruising and discoloration. I stayed home with him the rest of the day, looking at him from time to time, and shouting out "...cut me Mick...cut me!" My little scrapper.

Finally, today I'm back for my first full day at work. I don't think I've accomplished a thing today. At least it doesn't feel like it anyway. I guess the extended Holiday, has really taken its toll on me. I did get the NDPT website updated, finally. Hope everyone enjoys it.

Online poker and UB did not treat me kindly yesterday, dropping me considerably, when pocket K's and Big Slick, big flop hands did not stand the force of the RIVER. Had I been reckless...it could've been a lot worse, but why is it that losses always seem to come in Big Chunks all at once, while winning sessions are slow, small and a bit grueling. Makes you wonder...and no I don't think it's rigged. I see the same kinds of things happen in live play. I guess seeing it so often online does have the positive effect of de-sensitizing me to the sting of the monster bad beat. I guess you can't win 'em all.

In one last item, on Monday, Big Red and I tag-teamed an online freeroll poker session, on UB that was playing for a "semi-final" entry into the 2007 Aruba Classic. Out of the the over 3,000 entries, we finished somewhere around 30th. The top 50 got their entry. We play in this next round this Saturday night. I think it pays out the top 100 spots, and is limited to 1,000 players. If we advance there, then we really have to knuckle down, 'cause it appears that only the 1st place player wins ANYTHING at all, in the FINAL match. The prize is $10,000 in entry fees and travel expenses to the Aruba Classic. Probably never happen, but Dare To Dream!!!

Time to go...

Regards,

cheer_dad