You can't make this stuff up

There are times playing online that you just "feel" it's the wrong table, the wrong time, and that something bad is going to happen. We should each pay more heed to those feelings. They're not quantifiable, but when you have that wary, uneasy feeling you ought to listen to what your gut is telling you and move on. I say this all now, because (of course) I did not pay attention when that still small voice was speaking. Okay, it's not as bad as all that, but I do tend to make me some mountains out of life's little mole hills from time-to-time. Let me set the stage...

After a full/busy day at work I head home and immediately start on mowing the lawn. The neighborhood is thick with the sounds of push mowers and weed eaters. Oh, it did take me a bit of time to get started mowing because I had to wage a wasp killing campaign before I could reach the mower in the storage building. But flash forward to a lawn well done, weed whacking, and grass clippings gathered and street swept. I head inside to clean up, then grab a bite to eat. Following this, I help Cole out with his homework, try to decide if the teen Whitney even has any school books this year, "AIM," and phone(s) house and cell, interrupt the conversation and I trail off into wasted attempt.

Finally, things are relatively in order and I finally sit down to enjoy some down time. After checking email and reading a couple blogs I fire up Bodog. Several tables available so I belly up to two of them and am confident that at long last tonight, playing at my micro limits I'll finally take this account through the glass ceiling and go above the $200 mark. I've made mention a long time ago, that I've got some sort of mental block when it comes to that figure. I can't account for it, it's just there. Anyway, those of you who know me, know that online I play very micro limits. Call it stupid, call it mind numbing, whatever you want. But it just became so difficult to move money around online that they seem to be worth more in cyberspace, at least to me. Couple that with my unfortunately reading Chris Ferguson's account of how he turned $0 into $10,000 online and well you have the recipe for what has become my online poker playing experience. I revisited the Bodog account a while back and found it below the $100 mark, this of course after having cashed out a paltry sum somewhere in between the Neteller and UIGEA debacles... I'd play only every once in a while, two tabling at NLHE, max buy-in $10 (blinds .05/.10.) Go ahead... call me some names, I'll wait. Okay, do you feel better now? Good, I'm here for ya.

So, I've got my two tables setup on screen just the way I like 'em. Table action seems kinda fast. Oh look 8 players see the flop, and 7 to the turn over on this other table. Hmmm. Oh there's an all-in... and oh there's another... Here's where that uneasy feeling comes in. But I'm above it, I'm up to the challenge. Before one full cycle of the table I look down at AKos from late position, and pop it to a whopping .45 pre-flop. It goes back to the BB, who without pause, pops it an additional $8.00-ish all-in. You know the old 18X preflop reraise. Many folks wouldn't have flinched here and would have mashed the call button. But I'm just getting started here. I don't have a feel yet, or a read, and I'm just too Zen for all this. (Translation, at times I'm just a pussy.) So, I fold this drawing hands. Then I proceed to watch a succession of blackjack double down hands. 9-2os, 6-4os, 8-3os, etc... You know the ones. I go through that rocky phase of noticing that the hand I have at the first table is actually the nuts hand on the second table, and vice versa. All the while that little voice in the back of my head is growing ever louder. (Pipe down you!) Then, frustration sets in. From late position I look down at a J-10os, and I "just" call. The flop comes J-2-J, and I'm in position! Then again... bent over is a position. The SB bets pot. I double it. He obliges with an all-in and our hero calls. Then, before I even see his cards, realize I've succumb to all the emotion that's been building since I got home. I get the warm squishy feeling as he sticks his A-Js to some of my more tender orifices. More checks on table #1 please! The guy's decent enough about it, and tosses me an "ouch" in the chat window, to help sooth the sting. It doesn't... Anyway that's how most of the session went. And as my laptop battery is about to give up the ghost, I'm prepared to take my losses like a man. But I'm down like $13 here people. I was only shooting to make $6 tonight, to put me over the $200 mark, now I'm in worse shape. As the blinds come back around, I close down table one, and am left waiting for the round to end on table two. I look down at 9-10s. The BB annoyingly makes it .20 to go pre flop after I call the .10. I hate-hate-hate min-raisers! The flop comes 7-8-K rainbow. I'm open ended here, the BB bets out .30. Sure why not...and the turn is a blank (a two I think.) BB, again with the .30 bet. Sure, why not... The river brings one of my 8 outs, the Jack. This time the BB goes for broke and bets .60 this time. I pause briefly and then mash the Pot button. Here's where my tension headache and my temper flares! Simultaneously, three things happen on my laptop. The BB, reraises all-in, my "low battery" alert starts to flash like the world's coming to an end, and my fracking touchpad goes haywire. OMG... nothing's working here, I've got the nuts here folks and I can't get my pointer over the Call or the All-In buttons long enough to click. My wife stares from across the room as I gnash my teeth and spew obscenities!

FINALLY, I'm able to get the mouse coaxed over (pixel by pixel) to the all-in button and get the damn thing clicked! The BB insta calls. He proudly displays his hole cards "KK." Which for those of you keeping score at home, gave him a set on the flop. My Jack high straight sends him to the rail. And after all that stress on a single hand, I close out the game myself. (Incidentally now my fucking touchpad is working just fine!!!) So for the night I'm down only $7-ish. I regained some ground from the previous trip jacks fiasco. But who knows what the rest of the week will bring? Will I ever break through the $200 mark? Do any of you even care? Am I a complete NOOB for donking around at these micro stakes? Do you secretly laugh at me?

But on the bright side, I must make at least some of you feel better about yourselves and your superior poker playing abilities! And if that's the case, well then I'm glad that I can help make a difference in the lives of others. Stay tuned for the next riveting episode of "A Fool and His Money" and see how we are parted.

Regards,

cheer_dad